I don’t normally talk much about my life outside of this blog. But this weekend, my family and I went through something terrible and it was impossible to carry on like nothing happened.
Today I’m going to tell you about our irresistibly cute, completely nutty, not yet 6-year-old Golden Retriever, Lassie. On Saturday, we put her to sleep after a five-month long ordeal of vets, scans, medicines, terror, relief, more medicines and then terror again. Vicious, sudden bone cancer that went to her lungs and turned her into a completely different dog left us with no choice but to end her pain. The decision had to be quick, heartbreaking and gave us a day and a half with her to tell her how much we loved her and that she could eat all the vanilla ice cream she wanted. In hindsight, it was probably more traumatic to wait for the end, than to deal with the aftermath.
Losing Lassie made this blog, cakes and cookies seem completely irrelevant. Foolish, almost. Stifling my pain and continuing to write about desserts without first honouring this beautiful creature was not an option.
The loss is still too raw and too fresh to imagine a day when we will remember Lassie and only smile instead of also breaking down. If you have had, or do have a pet, you know that he or she is actually not a pet at all. This is the most important family member, the baby of the house that never grows up.
Lassie was my parents’ third daughter, our third sister. When Ashoo and I got married, my Dad said he finally has a boy to keep him company amongst all these women in his life 🙂 He couldn’t ever deny however, that Lassie was his favourite girl, and we accepted defeat, fairly willingly.
She had the power to win over almost everyone she met. The concept of a person not being comfortable around dogs was lost on her. She’d walk up to them, wag her tail furiously, preen a bit to show them how cute she was, and somehow, sit at their feet and hypnotize them into petting her.
(She did not like being photographed by the way. Almost always, she would turn her head away. Probably knew no camera could do justice to that face).
When my parents got Lassie, I had already moved out of home so I missed her puppy days. I told them that to make up for it, I get to name her. And when they saw her, they said no other name worked better.
She was a frisky, mischievous, handful of a puppy and as delightful as the photo below is, it took a while to get the banana leaf out of her mouth 🙂
When she was still little, she developed a comical habit of waking us up by picking up our footwear from the side of the bed and placing it on our tummies. I’ve woken up on multiple mornings wondering what the heaviness on my stomach was. Once she outgrew it, she took to simply waving the footwear in our faces and making weird snuffling sounds till we gave up, greeted her and jumped out of bed.
Lassie was a big furry bundle of contradictions. She had a loud, intimidating bark for strangers, but was scared of kittens. She probably sat silently judging us for all the ridiculous nicknames we gave her, but responded to all them of anyway. She was nowhere near as resourceful as the Lassie that inspired her name, but when a packet of anything was opened, she’d hear the rustle and dart in from three rooms away, showing us truly where her skills lay.
I could fill pages with her antics. My favourite is the way she poked her nose into my bag every time I came home for the holidays, thinking there was a gift in there for her. There usually was a squeaky burger toy that she loved or treats of some kind. And she always knew when I had walked in with it 🙂
It hurts unbearably to talk about Lassie in the past tense. We had begun doing it even on her last day, as if she was already gone. And in a way she was. From being a happy, bouncy, jumpy, silly little dog, she became one in tremendous pain, who wouldn’t come running for her food, or to greet whoever rang the doorbell. In all of that, her unconditional love for each of us never wavered. She smiled through her heartbreaking limp and unbearable pain. Every wag thrilled us, every good day raised our hopes. In the end though, she fought as hard as we did, but it was time. Deciding to let her go, and then watching her go was more traumatic than I’ll ever be able to put into words.
Writing this post has therefore taken more effort than I have the energy for right now, but Lassie deserves a tribute. For all the joy she brought into our lives, for the amount she made us laugh, for the sweet, sweet things she would do for us. She went too soon, far too soon. But we all know that we would have chosen just this much time with her over never knowing her at all.
She changed our lives forever, and we hope she was as happy with us as we were with her. She was always a diva about making friends, but wherever she is, we would like to imagine her bounding along with other happy doggies, finally jumping and prancing like she was meant to do, her silky ears flying in the wind, while she chews on all the slippers she finds, eats all the weird roadside flowers she wants and all the while, is happier than we ever thought she could be.
My sweet, ridiculous Lass, wherever you are, know that we love you with every fibre of our being. We will miss you every single minute of every single day and with time, it will hurt less, but we hope the great memories never fade. Never change, puppy <3
It would make me so happy to hear about your memories with Lassie, if you and her were lucky enough to have met. Please leave a comment below and help us create this tribute for her. I would also love to hear about a pet you had, or have right now 🙂
On a related note, if you’re in Mumbai and are looking for a good hospital for your pet, please stop by Crown Vet Clinic at Mahalaxmi. After searching high and low for a satisfactory clinic and doctors, we couldn’t have found a better, more respectful vet for our baby or a better place to say our goodbyes. The clinic has a warm, friendly staff and will take the best care of you and your pet, though I hope you never find yourself facing the toughest decision of your life.
Mickie Menon says
Chanced upon your blog and after saving a recipe and browsing through multiple yummilicious ones, I come to a halt at this. Rather late to express how sorry I am at your loss, but I can’t move on without saying a few words. I have a golden named Juliet who just turned 7 and it pains me to read this. Lassie must’ve led a life full of joy, no matter how brief, and that is really all that any living being can hope for. Thanks for sharing this with your readers and hugs.
the desserted girl says
Thank you so much for your kind words 🙂 We do hope Lassie loved the life she had and I also hope your Juliet leads a long, healthy and happy one! ❤️
Yashika Bijlani says
Dear Gayatri, very sorry to hear about your loss. I have never met Lassie, but your tribute about Lassie describes the wonderful relation you and your family shared with her. It must have been a very difficult decision to let her go but also the most appropriate given the condition. Its very painful to lose someone so close to your heart but she will always be with you through her wonderful memories. May God give you and the family strength to deal with the loss. RIP Lassie.
the desserted girl says
Thank you Yashika, I do wish you both had met but your very kind words make me feel like you did, means a lot ❤️
Sakshi says
I could feel your pain Gayatri in every line that you’ve written above. I dont have a dog right now, but any dog I see (even in the pictures, like these of Lassie) I really want to love them. This is a beautiful tribute to her. You are right, they are not pets, equally a part of us like the rest of us. The best part, the unconditional love from them all the time. May she rest in peace this little bundle of joy.
the desserted girl says
Thank you Sakshi, that means so much to us. Lassie truly was something else and had endless amounts of love to share 🙂
Nikita Kumar says
Hi Gayatri. This is a wonderful tribute to Lassie. I’m sure she’s watching over you guys from doggie heaven.
Your words make me want to convince my parents harder to let me get a dog at home! I’ll make sure they read this post as well 🙂
the desserted girl says
Thanks Nikita 🙂 The attachment is almost scary though because you don’t realise when they become an inseparable part of your life!
Aarti says
I’m mostly a lurker, sometimes I leave comments.
Your Lassie does deserve all the love your hearts can give her, whether she’s in this world or another. My condolences, and best wishes.
the desserted girl says
Thank you Aarti 🙂
Vandana Chadha says
Dear Gayatri sorry to hear about Lassie… I know the feeling. Last year we lost our Pepper, we also had to put him to sleep as his kidney had failed. A heart wrenching decision. Losing a pet is like losing a family member. Rather more as their love is unconditional. RIP little one.
the desserted girl says
Thank you so much for this sweet message. I’m terribly sorry about your loss, we recently lost a Pepper in our family too and it hurt so much. The decision is so hard, but also the kindest thing we could possibly do for them. I would like to imagine both our dogs playing together as we speak 🙂 Thank you again.
Radhika Arunkumar says
We have never met..yes I have met Lassie in Kochi..the most funny incident even today brings a smile..as i was walking on foreshore i saw your father cycling and lassie walking behind at her pace..the Admiral decided to speed up and was much ahead..so Lassie decided enough was enough did an about turn and went home..i had to point out to the Admiral she has gone home and both of us had a hearty laugh over it.
the desserted girl says
This made me smile and laugh, thank you! What a clown Lassie was 🙂 So happy you both met and you could share this great memory, thank you!
Natasha Saldhana says
RIP Lassie girl… Loads of love and prayers from Mom, Muffin and me to you guys! :*
the desserted girl says
Thank you Tashu <3
Amrusha says
Hi gayatri…sorry you lost her but she’s lucky to have been part of a family that understood her well enough to put her out of pain and to do what’s best of her, regardless of how much it would hurt them! I’m sure you miss her terribly but you’ll always love her and I’m sure she knows that 🙂 I have a pet dog (or actually she has five pets) and i love her to bits so reading this post has me tearing up as well. I know nothing really helps right now but if you think being around dogs will, I have one at home and about a dozen in two separate litters under my building. Open invitation!
the desserted girl says
Amrusha that is so, so sweet 🙂 I might just take you up on the offer! Thank you so much for your lovely words <3
Ekta says
Little pretty girl… i understand your pain gaya the same we felt or still feel with peppy
Now both the cousins are together looking after each other . Like we all have been through these tough times.
I remember when i took Sidd to meet atya and kaka for the first time and he was overwhelmed with her size but at the end of the jumping drooling love me looks he melted and couldnt stop petting her.
Shez is doggie land now.. stay blessed little
Hope you joey and peppy didi are looking after each other
the desserted girl says
Thank you Ekta, so sweet 🙂 Most people got alarmed when they first met Lassie, me included! But she managed to become best friends with everyone <3 I know that she and Joey and Peppy have already become best friends too. Thank you so much for all your support and much love to you too 🙂
Nakita Saldhana says
RIP Lassie kutty. I hope you’re chasing thing down and eating roses and are filled with boundless energy in doggy heaven. Shrikhandes – she’ll always be looking out for you guys with her fierce loyalty and love. All our love and support to you all in these tough times. Mischief sends loads of licks and kisses too. Big hugs!
the desserted girl says
Much love Naki, I’m so happy you guys could meet <3
Renu says
Sorry to hear about Lassie, Gayatri. Though I missed an opportunity to meet her, your loving tribute made my eyes moist. She looks like a stunner and your description of her and her antics are enough for me to fall in love with her. Can imagine the pain and sorrow you and the family are going through. Rest assured, she is in a better place and am sure looking and giving you her friendly smile from wherever she is. She will always remain in your hearts. RIP Lassie.
the desserted girl says
Thank you so much, I wish you could have met her, you both would have loved each other 🙂
Mallika Harsha says
Hi Gaya, I completely understand what you’re going through. It’s hard to let go of a being that brings so much happiness and unconditional love to our lives. I lost my pet Sandy after 15 long years. And it was shattering to see him suffer. At a time like that, it is best to put them out of their misery. Although nothing I say can bring you consolation, just know that she’s out of pain and in a better place now. And yes, there will come a time when you will be able to speak of her without breaking down. So hang in there and I’m terribly sorry for your loss.
the desserted girl says
Mallika, that means so, so much. I felt so very bad when you lost Sandy and I hope that time has healed you and your family. I would like to believe Lass and Sandy are running around together right now 🙂 Thank you so much for your sweet words.
Mallika Harsha says
Thank you for asking, Gaya 🙂 We’ve come to terms with it, if not completely gotten over it. But time does heal and you will, too. And I’m sure Sandy and Lassie are in a much happier place right now, running and chasing things that amuse them. 🙂
Marisha Kirtane says
Lass, my crazy cousin, you were delightfully nuts, and I am so so sad to not be able to play our crazy games together. From having most every piece of clothing I wore to your parents soaked with dribble off a squeaky hamburger, to having growling competitions, to you just chewing on my arm for fun – each visit with you was unbridled fun, and I always thought we understood each other perfectly. The household won’t be the same without you, I won’t enjoy eating as much when I can’t sneak you some food, and above all the light in Dhara Mami and Sudarshan mama’s lives got a little dimmer. I’ll miss you, kiddo, I really will.
the desserted girl says
Thank you Marisha, and I absolutely believe you and Lass did understand each other perfectly. It made her day to see you when you came over 🙂 Thank you for the love.
Suchitra says
It’s a beautiful tribute and she sounds like an amazing dog.. very sorry for your loss.
the desserted girl says
Thank you Suchitra, that means a lot.
Aditi Kaul says
Hey Gayatri,
I met Lassie just once, but I guess that was enough to make me a fan. I’m scared of dogs, but all that just melted away when I saw her. She was a cutie who also so well behaved and adorable. My niece loved looking at her pictures. So much so, every dog is now called Lassie.
May God give you strength to get through these difficult times.
the desserted girl says
Hi Aditi, I’m so so so happy Lassie changed your mind, she was quite convincing 🙂 she loved you right back and would have been very smug about every dog being named after her. Thanks so much ❤️